It seems to be I am in the state where getting out of this country, or maybe just being somewhere totally new, has become a top priority in my life. So exigent is this desire that at times I can’t sit still and I feel a burn in my skin at the thought of being here, of feeling like I am doing nothing “beyond existing”. It sounds pretty dramatic. I frequently miss China, though I try not to dwell on decisions I felt I had to make. There is no way I could idealize China, but maybe a different lifestyle that it harbored for me. Sometimes there was comfort in the constant chaos often mirroring my mental state but in the end too many situations all across the external and my internal world propelled me to leave in a frantic state. Whatever, shit…