I’ve been back in America for almost a year now and have repeatedly settled into and broken out of a few semi-regular jobs—which have constrained time for adventures a bit—and just made me feel stuck and anxious about life in general.

Regardless, on a smaller scale distance-wise I’ve been able to make multiple road trips to Austin, a trip to Santa Fe and a journey to the middle-of-fucking-nowhere, Arkansas, all of which have given me time and space to think about the beauty of America as well as a few of the reasons I’m so eager to leave it. Currently I’m working on some galleries and short write-ups, as well as things that I meant to finish about a year ago. Except for the beginning and the winding down months, I would say 2013 was one of the best, most complete, happiest years of my life.

Amazingly, I have also built and then demolished a sizable friend pool (by my own antisocial standards). I had previously thought people gossiping was just nonsense in television shows and movies, but after amassing a group of more than two friends I realized gossip is a true danger, a sad and pathetic side of humanity that has real consequences. So this past year I’ve learned that having lots of friends just may not be my thing.

I feel like I’m almost out of time…these past few years so tumultuous. I spent part of last month in the psychiatric hospital having electroconvulsive therapy to try and rid myself of this vortex that has been creeping up on me particularly intensely the past few years, precipitated by some minor events that were also quite disappointing, but results from which compounded into a much heavier weight. And the worst of it came tonight. In a way I feel a relief that I have been betrayed by all of the people I trust the most—it’s like there’s nowhere worse to go and I no longer have to ever imagine trusting someone.

Don’t worry though, emotional pain hasn’t been by its lonesome as I have earned some new physical scars the past year, including second-degree burns on both legs from a freak accident making tea. I’ll probably post some pics because it’s disturbing enough to be a warning that may prevent someone else from experiencing such an intense reminder of their own existence.

On a positive note, I bought new glasses today; we’ll see if they arrive before I lose it and my body disintegrates.

Enough light banter…here’s a new gallery from Spain: Alicante—December Respite.