It seems to be I am in the state where getting out of this country, or maybe just being somewhere totally new, has become a top priority in my life.

So exigent is this desire that at times I can’t sit still and I feel a burn in my skin at the thought of being here, of feeling like I am doing nothing “beyond existing”. It sounds pretty dramatic.

I frequently miss China, though I try not to dwell on decisions I felt I had to make. There is no way I could idealize China, but maybe a different lifestyle that it harbored for me. Sometimes there was comfort in the constant chaos often mirroring my mental state but in the end too many situations all across the external and my internal world propelled me to leave in a frantic state.

Whatever, shit doesn’t matter now. Anyway, I am planning a looser trip to Southeast Asia with my adopted twin brother Andrew. I will probably keep writing on this site due to the fact that I have started way too many other random blogs already and nihao-brian seems most suitable for travel.

The Cure is playing right now in this Starbucks. I think of a gigantic unfamiliar world. Can’t wait to leave.