I’m sitting in a coffee shop in Austin staring out the window, watching an overweight woman dance at a bus stop across the street. She is probably mentally free.

I came to Austin to take a break from searching for jobs in DFW. I like not really knowing my way around here; there’s something liberating about it. Not so much here as in other, larger cities I’ve been in, but there is a feeling of excitement, something so thrilling about just wandering around a new city, trying to orient myself.

While I search for jobs I wonder about this, if I will ever be satisfied in the same place. What is it about not being in motion that makes me feel stuck.

When I started writing this entry I had a much better idea of where I wanted to go with it but after looking through jobs and imagining forcing myself in this society I feel so drained. Nothing seems worth it. I don’t understand…I like myself, I have friends wherever I go, I have hobbies, I’m not really struggling financially. I’m not lazy, I really like working and being a part of something. Maybe I feel there’s nothing here for me. Maybe I’m too comfortable. Today is a gray day which is a relief in a way but I suppose I’m also letting myself be affected by it adversely.