Lima, Peru – 2014
I promise it seemed like a great idea to go to Lima or I wouldn’t have done it. I did a lot of research, didn’t move too quickly; it didn’t involve a girl. I researched climate, population density, public transportation and my criteria looked good on paper. Yet immediately upon touchdown I had a sense that this was going to turn into a growing experience of the unintentional kind. It did, and in honor of feeling like I’d already done this trip once but in reverse, I wrote a palindrome (made of words) for Lima that sums up the trip more succinctly than this rambling description. Here we go…
Lima:amil – Aimless Meandering In Listlessness
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- Hanging out with Kid Rock in the low-cost carrier terminal in Florida before our big flight to Peru. // Never felt like this buddy…why did I get that chick with the belly button ring pregnant insead of just watching Nascar and drinking Bud Light..? My life could’ve been so good, just buds and Buds. I get ya, bro.
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- Arriving around 1am, our taxi driver awaited us and drove us through the shithole Callaos, doubling the speed limit and telling us he “could find us some girls if we wanted…”
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- Maybe we made the wrong decision coming to South America. Callaos–voted most beautiful city in Peru, 2014.
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- Someone spells out their love in rocks on the beach. They use rocks because as the rocks get pounded by the waves they erode, are worn down and broken apart until eventually their relationship to each other is unrecognizable. That’s true love.
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- Ancient Peruvian legend has it that if you jump off this spot while thinking the name of your lover you will die from either impact or being run over by a car. Your lover will then go on to have a happy life without you.
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- Our hotel was called The Dazzler because when you jump off the top to kill yourself no one is surprised.
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- The somewhat eerie perpetual haze that hangs around in Lima made it hard to determine what the temperature was.
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- Machine guns and apathetic police with riot shields. The leading cause of death in Lima is boredom and so far the police are helpless to defeat or intimidate it with their weaponry.
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- A Peruvian guy walking pauses and contemplates the reverse zoo that happens every morning. He wonders if this tourist influx is really worth its impact on the GDP.
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- Kids walk through this tourist area like it’s no big deal but to most of us we gotta stop and take a picture of everything that other people are taking pictures of.
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- This guy wanted his picture taken so I said okay even though I have no interest in superheroes. I’m sure he expected some money for providing no value and that’s why I didn’t give any to him–I like to surprise people!
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- Andrew tries to blend in by leaning diagonally while crossing the street. JK!! I wasn’t holding the camera straight.
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- Frantically stumbling down alleys. So many interesting to hallways to go down. Choose one…you’re in life.
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- Man with classic indigenously-inspired Peruvian nose pretends to look sideways at something so I can take a picture of his profile.
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- We’re supposed to be on vacation but Andrew is busy writing a computer program called Napster. I didn’t try it because I was worried about potential copyright issues.
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- In Lima you don’t throw used toilet paper in the toilet, instead you shove it in your mouth and plug your nostrils with it so you don’t gag (in a bad way) on the way Lima smells.
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- A piece of stemless, jaundiced broccoli slowly usurps the building across from our hotel.
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- Just a picture of a fruit I like. Orange.
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- An apprehensive street cat looks out for cheap airline tickets to anywhere but Lima.
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- Grandpa waits by the fence for his granddaughter but really he’s just chasin’ young skirts. His granddaughter died when he was still a child. That cactus sure is growing quickly…
