Being on a beautiful exotic island doesn’t necessarily mean you’re on vacation. Despite the scenery and pleasant breeze that mitigates the heat, this little island trip hasn’t really been the respite I’d hoped for. But, I’m not complaining here, more just trying to organize how I feel about the experience on the island so far.

Part of the struggle lies in the fact that what I was accomplishing by leaving America without an agenda was never defined. Roaming around and exploring is a job in itself and supposedly it is good to live life without goals, but I tend to be a pretty structured person. I guess adventure is a good term for the journey we’re on; gaining experience and trying to get out of the stagnation I felt at home was the point.

Anyway, we were on the island of Koh Tao. Right now Andrew, Richard, Catalina and I are all on the boat back to Chumphon and from there we don’t quite yet have a destination. All of us are eager to leave and be somewhere different. I’ll try to explain a few reasons why I feel this way, because at first glance it sounds silly to want to leave such a place.

This is a tiny island. Upon getting off the ferry we were surrounded by people with huge backpacks everywhere, many backpacks so tall they towered over their owner’s head. Like many places where foreigners may visit there were locals chanting, “taxi, taxi” before we stepped off the dock. Comical in a way that you don’t laugh at…but not really a big deal. I was really excited to finally meet Richard and Catalina, Andrew’s best friends from when he was living in Colombia.

Richard and Catalina saw us right away from the coffee shop they were sitting in; they had a sign that said “LastName x2” mimicking what you would see at an airport when a taxi has been arranged for someone ahead of time. Even though I was exhausted from the 10-hour overnight train ride, 45-minute bus ride and then two-hour catamaran ride, I felt energized to meet them and be in a new place. We promptly walked up the road and had breakfast at a café called Cappuccino which was owned by a French chef. I was amazed at how much it felt like I was in a dream but the quaint and peaceful tropical island illusion didn’t last.

After breakfast we got in a truck and headed toward the northern west coast of the island to find a place. We ended up in a bungalow, whatever that means, I’m still not really sure but it sounds funny. After piling our shit inside and changing into swimming suits we went to the beach which was a hilariously short walk away.

I haven’t been in saltwater for years so I forgot what warm salty liquid feels like when it hits your mouth. Not too long after being in the water I scraped up my foot on the rocks and coral below. It didn’t take long to realize that this area of the beach was not even worth trying to swim at. I took a nap in the bungalow and woke up with a sunburn, kind of laughing at the fact that we didn’t pack any fucking sunscreen. I find myself laughing at a lot of things that are not even remotely funny, probably a diffusion mechanism.

Later we went out for dinner and ran into two Brazilian girls who were living in Australia that we had met on Chumphon so I stopped and talked to them at their table while the rest our party sat down. Haha. They said they may go out for drinks later if we wanted to come and I didn’t really respond in an affirmative manner since I don’t drink; I just said something like, “yeah…maybe!” Then I rejoined Andrew, Rich and Catalina. We ate and chatted for a bit and then the Brazilian girls came by to say we should meet at the same restaurant at 20:00 the next day to chat and so they could hear our travel stories. I didn’t respond because 1) I wasn’t going to go drink with anybody, and 2) I didn’t want to speak for everybody and make any commitments. Richard, Cata, nor Andrew responded at all either and it was apparently somewhat awkward. One of girls then said something saying if we had plans or something comes up it’s no big deal. The next day I felt bad for passively rejecting someone who made an effort to hang out, even though I didn’t really want to. Well, that has nothing to do with why this trip was a bust; I guess I got sidetracked.

To be blunt, this island is way too crowded with heathens and it should probably be designated as a test site for a nuclear bomb. I didn’t come here, nor would I go anywhere on purpose, to see a bunch foreigners partying, riding motorbikes irresponsibly and getting poorly thought-out tattoos and piercings. On top of that, the local people that work here seem like zombies, most likely completely jaded from the neverending stream of backpackers and tourists coming to take diving courses who are overrunning what must have once been a peaceful island. It was rare to see anyone smiling; most just acted in a completely mechanical way, as if they were pull-string dolls only activated each time a tourist walked by.

The idea of Koh Tao having a calming effect on me was quickly shattered.

The second day, Rich, Cata, and Andrew rented motorbikes and drove to the other side of the island to go snorkeling but I stayed behind despite their numerous requests for me to join them because I wanted time to myself to decompress and write. I felt kind of bad for staying behind but I knew I didn’t feel as bad as I would if I had gone along with a bad attitude and caused trouble.

I’ve spent a week being with Andrew virtually nonstop and though he is my best friend I needed what I call “Bri-time”. I require a significant amount of alone time and traveling with anyone, even beautiful girls (as I have tried out in the past), eventually causes tension. On top of that, neither one of us have been in particularly great moods. Andrew has been somewhat depressed since before we even left on this trip. I have become frustrated the past few days, as I mentioned previously due to overexertion and now, the disparity between my hopes for the island getaway and its reality.

The day alone proved to be somewhat fruitful for me and when everybody else returned they told me of the gigantic turtle they saw with fish circling it, as well as the mini-cliff dive they did, so I guess it was good for them. Their experience sounded awesome but I’m still glad we separated for a bit.

The second night we changed lodging to a place that was close enough to throw a rock into the water AND had its own swimming pool. All of this for only 50 baht (~$1.60) more per night. In addition to a better view it also came with a handful of gigantic cockroaches. I don’t hate cockroaches but I also don’t have an affinity for them, especially when I can hear them crawling on the floor while trying to sleep. It’s also hard to feel like you’re clean after taking a shower in a bathroom where the water smells like shit and you are joined by giant cockroaches scurrying across the walls.

I’ll try to write about the third day in another post because it was indisputably the most successful day for me, as Andrew and I went hiking and I caught our very first Thai dragonfly!!

So, last night we all decided it was definitely time to move on. The psychological weight of this place, our own mental states, the cost and the chance to try somewhere more to our liking have made it an easy choice. From this, I’ve learned a lesson to do more extensive research (read: some research) before going somewhere that is supposedly a quiet island. Or going anywhere, for that matter.

Alas though, there are some good things to point out, though I think these things are not exclusive to the island. The Thai food here was really good. Also, you can get lassies (blended fruit yogurt drinks) reasonably cheap and in all different flavors. There are also a number of coffee shop/café-type places and restaurants where you can get good tasting Western food (if you are feeling nostalgic).

Please keep in mind this is just my opinion of the island. Some things to consider are that I don’t drink alcohol and I didn’t go there to scuba dive or hook up with drunk Western chicks.

The end.

Feel free to share any similar experiences, thoughts or ideas and check the rest of the pics below!!