Many things I view as significant personal achievements, some of them are things that I may not have done myself but may have elicited from others. Sometimes you’re an astute listener and people share secrets; sometimes you’re a puppeteer of sorts.

I remember a girl from years ago who would come into the first Starbucks I worked at. She said the craziest shit, so much so that after she would leave I used to scramble to a cash register, print out some receipt paper and write down everything I could remember her saying so I could tell my friends later. Most people have a few gems hidden in them but listening to this girl talk was aural ecstasy for someone who enjoys trying not to laugh while a drunk person talks about philosophy or religion.

One day I told Jessica that I was thinking of moving to China. Though she didn’t really know much about me (she usually did most of the talking) she told me that I would’ve like, been right there on the boat, with like, Christopher Columbus, sailing across the world.

This girl, with that comical statement based on her insanely little amount of knowledge about me, has influenced my life immensely and helped me figure out more of who I am and how I set goals.

I grew up, like many overly-fortunate middle-class children, with no humane way of measuring myself, and even today it’s hard to simply exist without comparing or trying to quantify myself via some sterile metric…prestige via a job, a certain salary, a nice house, etc. This sort of evaluation is crushing—and it’s not just because I don’t measure highly—it’s because it is all inessential to resembling any sort of existence I’m interested in having. Still, having grown up surrounded and inundated with it by this society, it is hard to be free of.

Jessica’s statement gave me a different sort of confidence, some validation and/or a feeling of respect toward the choice to be an explorer.

Over the past few years I’ve gone back and forth between trying to live a steady life here in the States, and traveling or going on adventures with no ostensible goal. The greatest feelings of contentment and the times I’ve sensed my life was worthwhile and that I’ve felt like I was doing something have been when I have been exploring. Somehow I must make this a reality.

I don’t know if it means I will go teach somewhere else, take photos, farm, do whatever…I know that as much I have tried to just live life here, the sentiment in what Jessica said years ago was correct. I’ve talked about this again and again with Andrew and Lauren and we all have agreed that even when we are struggling, seemingly wandering aimlessly and decimating our savings somewhere in some filthy part of the world…it’s so much more rewarding…so much more of a life.

Thanks, Jessica.