While walking along the beach this morning I found a little starfish. Having never seen a starfish before I approached it cautiously, let it know I was an unarmed pacifist discontent with my life, just wandering the earth seeking new friends. I told him I usually don’t go near the ocean because it seems unfriendly and impersonal but I really need to meet new people and replace my horrible, useless asshole friends. I asked if i could pick up the starfish and asked what gender it was. The lovable creature responded to none of my questions or statements vocally; just moving its hundreds of little arms-legs up and down in an empathetic manner. I picked it up. Immediately I was stung by its infectious positive attitude and I began to view the past year of my life as a statement…
