I have been in Rotterdam for 10 days now. My life has improved significantly since leaving the States and amazingly, I know for a fact I made the right choice coming to Europe. Just kidding… Jet-lag hasn’t had such an…
So, just for a joke, I’ve been trying to live like an adult lately. Since my lack of experience has so far prevented me from getting work in an adult industry I decided I’d do the next best thing—I’d just pursue an internship and get fucked for free. Yep, I resorted to the kind of thing I should’ve done when I was in college, when instead of being responsible, I was partying all the time…
Despite my track record in the past few years I generally like to finish what I start. That’s why committing to volunteer (…it’s not volunteering when you pay to participate…) for one week at a permaculture community in Northern Thailand…
Lately I finds two different currents running through my body, varying in ratio, intensity and velocity. Time speeds up, slows down. Temperature inconsistent with atmosphere. Positivity is suffocated by a hopelessness incongruous to my situation. Hopelessness is speared by a jolting idea from which my mind moves too quickly to complete. I’m not happy where I am. I’m not comfortable but it’s not a productive discomfort. As I search for jobs without luck I question…
I’m sitting in a coffee shop in Austin staring out the window, watching an overweight woman dance at a bus stop across the street. She is probably mentally free. I came to Austin to take a break from searching for jobs in DFW. I like not really knowing my way around here; there’s something liberating about it. Not so much here as in other, larger cities I’ve been in, but there is a feeling of…
…I still don’t entirely know how I feel about it (not really an unfamiliar situation) but apparently I’m back in Texas. I can tell this by the surprised smiles and hugs from friends and people I haven’t seen in a while, by the lack of tropical plants everywhere and by the fact I feel obligated to look for a job. The word indefinite, as in “I’m going to travel in Asia indefinitely,” was something I thought I’d…
