Right now I’m sitting alone in a small coffee shop in a city called Chiang Mai. It’s somewhat of a sleepy town, filled with cafés and restaurants. I would love this kind of place. Unfortunately, I’m in an incredibly impatient and volatile mood. Traveling with two other friends has worn me out. We’ve lodged together and basically stuck together since the beginning. Many reasons have contributed to this, some having to do with comfort, some convenience, some financial. Today was the last day of that.

All of us looking kind of indifferent…no goals, no destination…just cheap smoothies, lots of sweat and some minor disagreements.

Andrew is returning home, I’m not sure what Lauren is doing and I’m also not sure what I, Brian, am doing. Thinking about this a little more, we probably should’ve always been separate, with occasional excursions or meetings. Andrew had no real interest in Southeast Asia other than the fact that it’s cheap. Lauren needed somewhere to go after Iran and Andrew and I were going to be here so it seemed convenient that we meet up and explore. I don’t really have any particular interest in Southeast Asia (unless southern China and Taiwan are lumped under that moniker)—I just like to wander around, take photos and look at bugs, so it doesn’t really matter where I am. Being inexpensive and relatively safe were big factors for me choosing Southeast Asia, along with the tropical climate due to the geographic location, which ensures an impressive variety of insects. In addition, I guess there’s something quaint about dirty, overcrowded, chaotic cities. Eventually though, that can seem negative. So, in sum, history, culture, blah blah blah, etc. made no impact on our choice of destinations—Andrew and I merely chose to start in Thailand because Bangkok was the cheapest place to fly into. Seemed like a good idea…but I wouldn’t bother arguing if you were to tally that one as a mistake….

We’ve had a lot of interesting experiences here; I’ve written about a few and am working on others: my experience clubbing in Bangkok, our time on the island of Koh Tao, getting stuck at the Chumphon train station, spending a few days at a permaculture community in Northern Thailand. There are more to come. Tomorrow I’m doing a “visa run” to Myanmar (Burma), which should be interesting, though I’ll probably only stay in Myanmar for 30 minutes or so because I’m going with a group and need to catch the bus back to Chiang Mai.

Thinking about being here, some days I long for the cleanliness and infrastructure of the US, littler things like customs that are native to many of us (obeying traffic rules, not clipping your fingernails directly in front of someone before making their coffee). I also remind myself of the stifling environment and pressure I felt at home. I felt like I was wasting away, totally unsuccessful professionally (whatever that could possibly mean). The more I travel the more I feel I’ll always be homeless, mostly be an outsider to whatever is going on. I’m fine with that, maybe it’s just a state of mind or my personality. Maybe it’s something I purposefully impose on myself as a defense. I’m not really going anywhere with this.

I have a couple other posts coming…I’ll really work on being more timely. And, the others should include pictures (I know some of you can’t read).