Tag: self-analysis

my Asian fascination

Outside the apartment in Shanghai, I feel manic just looking at this beautiful mess of opportunity.

From the future I’m apologizing for what I’m about to say in the past, below: I’m sitting in a Taiwanese milk tea shop in Arlington. From this bench seat I can see the university I attended, where by way of an advertisement posted in a stairwell I happened to be walking in, I found out I could study Chinese and complete two years of mandatory foreign language coursework in one year of time. This is the path through which I became interested in Asia. This could’ve been a trivial detail in my life but it’s not at all. It’s hard for me to even fathom what my life would be like now had that not happened. My entire attitude and life shifted from a state of passive acceptance to actively taking risks and feeling excited and engaged in my own…

don’t actually plan a new plan

Sitting outside a Starbucks, it’s dusk, darkening slowly. Another resignation letter under my belt, tomorrow is my last day at the job I’ve gone back to repeatedly out of convenience and comfort. Maybe the choices were misguided. I did what I thought was best. I applied to a university in Taipei to enter as a student of their Mandarin Training Center. Hopefully in a few months I will be on the other side of the…

thoughts of a future

Recently I’ve written a number of blog entries that I haven’t posted…mostly because they’ve been too honest and depressing, even by my standards. I wrote one before I went to Peru that was sort of a plea to myself which quickly degenerated into some suicidal rambling and was ultimately so sad that I couldn’t read it without starting to cry in the coffee shop I was writing it in, so I had to stop. From…

resignation letters

It’s possible that one of the only times I’ve felt in control of my life recently is when writing resignation letters. So, I guess it’s time for another one. It’s time for something to help shock me out of the…

Jessica and the Christopher Columbus story

One-way ticket to Shanghai...who knows where we were here. I felt such a sense of freedom and success to have no bridge home.

Many things I view as significant personal achievements, some of them are things that I may not have done myself but may have elicited from others. Sometimes you’re an astute listener and people share secrets; sometimes you’re a puppeteer of…

job meaningfulness update

Jobs…so what is a job really? You know that time you were born and then eventually experienced consciousness as a little kid, the first moment at the kitchen table thinking, “hey, I am Brian; I am this person,” while touching your hand to your nose. Burning yourself on the stove, crawling around on the floor, feeling the carpet beneath you. Feeling the linoleum beneath you when you get in the kitchen. Sitting on the stairs.…