Tag: freedom

resignation letters

It’s possible that one of the only times I’ve felt in control of my life recently is when writing resignation letters. So, I guess it’s time for another one. It’s time for something to help shock me out of the horrible shell-existence I’ve gotten myself into in the past months. I haven’t felt like Brian, more like a creature that sleeps too much, forces itself to eat and do other tasks and then longs to sleep and escape what seems like a perpetual panic attack. I’m generally a happy guy (just not at this very moment…, sort of lol). I like bugs and jokes and playing outside, making music, going new places, eating different foods and talking to people, taking photos. To have not felt like that recently feels like a sick sense of regression. It’s taken years of mental,…

Jessica and the Christopher Columbus story

One-way ticket to Shanghai...who knows where we were here. I felt such a sense of freedom and success to have no bridge home.

Many things I view as significant personal achievements, some of them are things that I may not have done myself but may have elicited from others. Sometimes you’re an astute listener and people share secrets; sometimes you’re a puppeteer of…

inspiration from a starfish

A sea star moves around on my hand and transfers its kinetic energy, motivating me to squirm because I feel creeped out.

While walking along the beach this morning I found a little starfish. Having never seen a starfish before I approached it cautiously, let it know I was an unarmed pacifist discontent with my life, just wandering the earth seeking new…

a happy story about dreams

For the past few months I’ve had difficulty sleeping through an entire night. Most nights I wake up from nightmares revolving around a few different themes, predominantly suicide, a sense of loss and hopelessness. This may be hard for you to understand as generally my writing is incredibly cheery and heartwarming. A few months ago one of my friends committed suicide. We weren’t that that close but it was one of those cases where you…

arrival and impressions

Pre-trip iced coffee from a cute street vendor.

I typically set six alarms for important events. Naturally, this idea frequently backfires and creates needless anxiety for me…. The vegetable truck leaves at noon—there’s no way we are going to sleep until noon. There’s also no way my paranoia…