I have been in Rotterdam for 10 days now. My life has improved significantly since leaving the States and amazingly, I know for a fact I made the right choice coming to Europe.

Just kidding…

Jet-lag hasn’t had such an effect on me as the nightmares about suicide and the general struggle to keep my thoughts from racing into oblivion, furiously analyzing what feels like a series of progressively less-successful adventures (and wondering what I keep stumbling on). The weather, as I knew before coming, has been pleasantly fucking cold, with ample rain and endlessly cheery gray skies. Basically everything about here is uplifting.

As we know, much of this is my mental state. Plenty of people live in this gray paradise, merry red cheeks on rotund faces, full of joy and satisfaction in their lives. People have families and watch their children step in dogshit, laugh, and then teach them how to clean it off. Tram drivers smile and wave as a passerby’s umbrella collapses and hits him in the face from a heavy, chilling wind. Welkom to Nederland!

I now realize every time I’ve been to Europe it’s been winter. This is a positive in a way, because I like to see all the different kinds fashionable tall boots European women (and girls approaching or over 18) wear. I am at a loss now trying to think of any more positives winter holds for me.

I will stay in Rotterdam at least until Christmas and then move on to Berlin, hopefully starting the new year in a new place and having as few expectations as possible. Though I’ve not mentioned many good things about Rotterdam, there definitely are some. Rotterdam has a nice public transportation system and it seems to be very convenient to get around and acquire any goods you might need to fix your computer when the hard drive crashes and leaves you unable to boot up. Gummy bears are reasonably priced and there is a lot of cultural diversity here. Meaning…women of the world, lots of flavor. Only joking. In addition to the wacky native Dutchies, the Chinese, Moroccan, Polish, Surinamese, Turkish and some other ethnic populations make it very interesting to just sit down and people watch, look at their different styles, hear their languages, see their restaurants.

To tell you the truth, when I’m not having a really rough time I’m generally having a good time. Even in this despicable weather I’ve still been able to smile and laugh at my own jokes. That’s definitely progress.